Still @ Home...

Hey Zach,

Not much has happened with me, so I waited for a bit to write this. I'm still at home, but I leave for college on Monday so that's exciting. It's crazy that you've been at school for almost a month now (? I  think?). How has settling into routines and getting used to life been? What classes are you taking?

About what you wrote last time, I totally understand how you feel with parties and the social scene.

I really felt that loneliness/pride you mentioned many times during junior year. For me, not being invited to parties (etc..) led to disappointment in my friends and forced me to asses where I was placing my trust and faith. Overall, I'm really thankful that I wasn't exposed to that scene so young.

Even this year, seeing my closest high school friends get into drinking and experiment with drugs was really hard for me. While I wanted to spend time with them and have "fun", it sometimes got hard to do so. I'd feel more like going home than anything else when they were drunk. I think that we'll both definitely be able to find others who we can relate to more in terms of what we define as "fun". I know that for Teacher Michael, his college church group became a core part of his friend group. And it seems like they had so much fun, which is surprising to me in some ways and changed how I viewed fellowship.

Updates on me: Recently, I was at PennApps, a hackathon at UPenn. It was so much fun to see how rapidly tech is changing and all the new applications for it. Using technology to help others is definitely a path I think I want to follow (I wouldn't say "called to follow" just yet).

Turning 19 is also hitting pretty hard right now. It's my last year of being a teenager, and it feels like I need to somehow change and do bigger things. 

PS.

Have you heard about the potential Drake and Kanye collab?!? That would be awesome.

Also, idk if you're a Travis Scott fan but we should discuss the new album (not a fan)

Alright, hope to talk again soon. We should get a video call going w the boys.

-Nathan

Week 1

Hey Nathan,

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond; between reading works from Auerbach, Nietzsche, and Stoker (among a few other literary contemporaries) and looking for different fellowship groups on campus, these first two weeks have been quite busy here at Cornell! But I am thankful that amongnst the business, I have the opportunity to sit down and begin these series of letters with you; I am so thankful that despite distance and time, we have been able to maintain and keep this friendship. Though a common love of hip-hop/rap and jazz music may have served as some initial building blocks, I am happy that it is ultimately upon the foundation of Christ, that we can have this friendship. I pray that your move to Stanford will be great one and that you can continue to know the character of WHO God is. I feel like this has been the biggest thing for me: who is God? More specifically who is God to me? With the Church situation, I totally understand your feelings; there were many moments where I too had doubt and struggled with what was going on. I would ask: God, why is this happening? Though it really is a multitude of factors, thank you for your devotionals.
To realize that I truly am the broken man on the road has been sobering. At college, the primary mode of having fun is drinking and partying, and since that is not my scene (I'm definitely more of the collecting action figures and eating good food kinda person) I often times feel one of two things: either upset/lonely or a sense of pride (like haha I'm not getting drunk but I'm doing homework etc.) I would think that I'm "better" because I didn't do those activities. Thus this would lead to contempt for my peers who would participate in these activities. But I am reminded that I too am broken and in need of God's grace. I need to be reminded and convicted of my sin, but also know that God is greater as well. One thing that really struck me was that in a devotional that Trip Lee gave at the Legacy Conference. He said that God has made everyone in his image; I shouldn't view people with contempt but instead with the eyes of God. I've really been wrestling through with this, and hope that you too can know and see everyone through God's eyes.

I'm excited to see what our future conversations will hold; este es solamente el empiezo.

Zachary Lee